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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417992">I kept my distance so you could be free</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jodym134/pseuds/Jodym134'>Jodym134</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Station 19 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff and Angst, Pregnancy, alot of angst for my liking, i dunno, mention of abortion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:21:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jodym134/pseuds/Jodym134</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Maya finds out she's pregnant from her one night stand with Jack. What will it mean for her and Carina just weeks after they have gotten back together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I kept my distance so you could be free</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have been sitting with this one shot for a few months now but didn't really have the courage to post it but here goes. </p>
<p>All mistakes are mine. I'm dyslexic so please be gentle with me if there are lots of mistakes. Also, I'm not from the US so may use some phrases that are not American. apologies if I do. </p>
<p>Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. Hope you guys enjoy...let me know?!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya would be lying if she said that this is where she thought she would be eight months ago. </p>
<p>Eight months, three days and 7 hours ago, she begged for Carina’s forgiveness. Begged Carina to take her back. She had. She had forgiven Maya on the promise that she would deal with her past demons in order for them to be able to move forward. </p>
<p>That same day, Maya had booked an appointment with the stations therapist. She knew she would struggle to speak to a stranger, but Dr. Diane Lewis had visited the station regularly after Vasquez had passed away and then again after Pruitt. </p>
<p>She only had to wait a couple of days, and although the thought of talking about her fathers abuse petrified her, Maya was desperate to show Carina that when she promised to spend every day proving how sorry she was, she meant it. </p>
<p>The first appointment was a little awkward. The captain tensed up whenever Diane tried to probe a little deeper. Admitting the abuse happened was the first step and Maya had already done that, but now, talking about how things felt at the time they happened, it was bringing up everything Maya so desperately tried to forget over the years. However stoic and strong the blonde attempted to act, by the end of the first session, Maya had ended up shedding a couple of tears.</p>
<p>Work had been busy for both Maya and Carina in the weeks following their reconciliation. There had been no shortage of texts and calls at all times of the day and night. However, meeting in person had been far rarer than either anticipated. </p>
<p>There had been a couple of date nights. Both agreeing not to spend the night together afterwards because working on their relationship and building trust again took precedence. There had been heated make out sessions that could easily have gone further, but Maya had somehow managed to stop them before it went to far. It’s not to say she hadn’t wanted to. Her whole body felt like it was on fire any time Carina’s fingers so much as brushed against her own. </p>
<p>A few more weeks went by, there were more date nights, lunches and simply meeting up for coffee. They talked a lot. Carina being open about still not having one hundred percent trust, even though she was totally aware and grateful of the effort that the blonde was putting in to fix their relationship. Maya had also confided in Carina about her fears, that she was scared that she was so damaged that she’s scared that one day she will turn into the replica of her father. The doctor was proud of her for opening up, but assured her that recognising the toxic behaviours was a clear way of proving that she never would. </p>
<p>On one particularly busy night at the station, Maya had all but fallen asleep at the table in the Beanary whilst the team finally ate dinner. She felt a little worse for wear, opting to push her soup away from her and sip on some water instead. </p>
<p>‘’You okay?’’ Andy whispered as she tapped on the captains arm that was currently a resting place for her chin, hoping not to draw attention to the fact that Maya was nodding off.</p>
<p>‘’Hmm? Yeah, just feel a little off.’’ Maya smiled shyly. She couldn’t explain what she was feeling. She had been exhausted a lot recently.</p>
<p>‘’Maybe try get some sleep.’’</p>
<p>The blonde nodded in her best friends direction. ‘’Yeah, I think I’ll go do that.’’ She stood up slowly, her chair scraping across the floor behind her, bringing everyone’s attention to her. ‘’Good night guys. You should all get some rest too, who knows when that alarm will be going off again.’’</p>
<p>She was met with an array of strange glances. She knew exactly why. She never slept during shift. She could pull a full twenty four hour shift on zero sleep, relishing in the silence of the station whilst everybody else rested between calls. A few seconds passed before her team wished her a good night and went back to chatting between themselves as she left the room.</p>
<p>A couple of hours later, Maya suddenly felt a rush of nausea. She quickly rose from her bunk and attempted to rush to the nearest bathroom that was situated a few doors down form her office. She just about made it before leaning over the toilet bowl and proceeding to vomit.</p>
<p>Once she felt like her stomach was completely emptied, Maya flushed the toilet and walked out of the bathroom stall, only to be faced with her best friend. ‘’Jesus, warn a girl.’’</p>
<p>Andy stood with her arms crossed over her chest. ‘’You look like shit.’’</p>
<p>‘’Thanks,’’ the blonde replied sarcastically. Walking over to the sink to wash her hands and rinse her mouth out.</p>
<p>‘’You need to go home Maya.’’ Andy’;s voice was stern. Probably more stern than it needed to be, but she knew how stubborn her best friend was, ‘’You can’t work when you’re sick. ’’</p>
<p>‘’I know.’’ Maya replied quietly.</p>
<p>Before even listening to Maya, Andy carried on. ‘’Don’t argue with…’’ Andy furrowed her brow and straightened up her posture in confusion. ‘’Wait, what?’’</p>
<p>Maya rolled her eyes. ‘’I said I know. I’m...I’m gonna go home. You’re in charge.’’</p>
<p>‘’You must really be sick. Are you okay?’’</p>
<p>‘’I don’t know. I’ve felt off recently. Like I could sleep all day every day.’’ Maya explained as she leaned back against the sinks, her left hand moving to rubs up and down her face.</p>
<p>‘’How long has it been going on.’’ Andy questioned.</p>
<p>The blonde shrugged. She had been feeling rubbish for just over two weeks now but it wasn’t anything major, nothing that stopped her usual daily routine. ‘’Like, a couple weeks I guess.’’</p>
<p>The brunette paused in thought for a few seconds, pondering over how to ask her next question.‘’And you’re not?’’</p>
<p>‘’Not what?’’ Maya asked, eye brows knit together in confusion.</p>
<p>‘’When was your last period Maya?’’ </p>
<p>‘’I don’t know, they aren’t regular. Why?’’ It wasn’t unusual for her to go months between her periods, it had been the same since she was a teen. Her doctor had told her that it was very common in athletes, and had diognosed her with functional hypothalamic amenorrhea when she was in her early twenties. ‘’I can’t be pregnant if that is what you’re getting at Andy.’’</p>
<p>‘’Maya. How long has it been since the Jack incident?’’ Andy asked. That’s what it was referred to because although Maya takes full responsibility for her stupidity in cheating on her girlfriend with Jack, she would rather not have to hear or speak about the fact that she had slept with him.</p>
<p>Maya’s face paled even more than it already was as the realisation hit her. ‘’Shit.’’</p>
<p>‘’Wait here.’’ Andy said as she rushed out of the bathroom.</p>
<p>Maya couldn’t move even if she wanted to. Her mind just felt so full all of a sudden. A new wave of nausea hit her. She took a deep breath, swallowing down the feeling that things were just about to get a whole new level of fucked up. She desperately attempted to tell herself that there was absolutely no chance that she was pregnant, that this was just some viral illness that she had caught and seemingly not been able to shift. Exhaustion isn’t unknown to her. She worked long hours, she worked out every day and she was spending time with Carina, surely this was just the effects of needing a couple of days leave to rest and recuperate. </p>
<p> A minute or so later, the bathroom door opened slowly and Andy walked back in holding out a pregnancy test towards Maya. ‘’W..Why do you have this?’’</p>
<p>Andy scratched at her neck, a sign Maya knew as guilt. ‘’Well, I may or may not have had a bit of a scare a couple of months ago. Thankfully mother nature reared her ugly head the following day.’’ She grimaced at her own choice of words before shoving the packet into the blondes hand and telling her to go take it. ‘’I’ll be right out here okay. Whatever the result, I’m here. Always.’’ </p>
<p>Peeing on stick in her work place bathroom was definitely not a high point of Maya’s lifetime. She was so incredibly nervous that it took her a while to actually be able to pee. Once done, she put the cap back on the pregnancy test, sorted herself out and reopened the stall door. She once again walked over the sinks, placing the test on the counter and washed her hands thoroughly. ‘’I don’t think I can look at it.’’</p>
<p>Andy waited for Maya to dry her hands before she walked over and took Maya’s right hand in her own. ‘’I can if you want me to.’’</p>
<p>Maya nodded and audibly gulped. She couldn’t keep her thought process in check during the silence of the three minute wait to get the result. She thought of Carina, and what would happen between them if she was pregnant. She thought of Jack too. She had no idea how he would react. They barely said more than two words to each other when not working. It was awkward and a little childish that even though she knew that she was 99% to blame for her cheating, part of her blamed Jack a little. He knew which buttons to press to rile her up. He didn’t stop it from happening. He slept with her knowing she was in a relationship with someone else. </p>
<p>Maya was so lost in thought that she hadn’t realised that Andy had moved to pick up the pregnancy test. She slowly looked up from the ground, towards her best friends face. She knew before the words even left Andy’s mouth. The expression of sympathy lacing her features gave it away.</p>
<p>‘’It’s positive.’’</p>
<p>			**//**</p>
<p>Maya hadn’t ended up leaving the station during the early hours. Instead she shut herself away in the captains bunk, thinking over everything. She hadn’t gone out on the last call of the shift, putting Andy in charge because she knew she wouldn’t be in the right head space to captain her team professionally. She was too distracted. </p>
<p>When she got home at just gone eight that morning, she took herself off for a shower, tears pricking at her eyes as she stepped into the steaming water. She had totally forgot that Carina was coming over after her own night shift. She hadn’t checked her phone in hours, choosing to throw it into her bag that was now placed on the floor next to her bed. </p>
<p>By the time she finished in the shower, tears were streaming down her cheeks, thick and fast. She simply wrapped a towel around herself and moved into her bedroom, dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed as sobs escaped from the back of her throat. </p>
<p>She didn’t have a clue how long she has been crying, but the next things she heard was the door clicking closed. ‘’Maya?’’ Carina called out before opening the bedroom door.</p>
<p>Maya desperately attempted to wipe the tears away with the back of her hand before Carina could notice. Her attempts were futile. Carina was kneeling down in front of her, taking her hands in her own before she could even blink.</p>
<p>‘’What’s wrong?’’ Carina asked, trying to make eye contact with her girlfriend. The more Carina tried to get Maya’s attention, the more Maya started to panic. ‘’Bella please? You’re worrying me,’’ the Italian spoke softly, giving the blonde’s hand a little squeeze in an attempt to ground her.</p>
<p>It didn’t work. The more Carina showed her attention, the more Maya slipped into the impending panic attack. Her chest was rising and falling a lot faster than usual, her heartbeat felt like it was strumming in her own ears and her body was vibrating with nerves. She couldn’t look Carina in the eyes. ‘’I…I can’t...say it.’’</p>
<p>This wasn’t the first time Carina has ever had to help her girlfriend through a panic attack. She knows if she doesn’t pull her out of it quickly then Maya will spiral. ‘’Maya. Just take a deep breath okay. Just like me. In. Out.’’</p>
<p>Trying her hardest to calm herself down, the fire captain attempted to copy her girlfriends deep breaths. She still had tears streaming down her face, and her legs were bouncing with nerves. She felt sick to her stomach, but her breathing became less laboured. She knew she had to tell her, but she was petrified of the outcome. Taking one deep audible breath, she forced herself to speak. ‘’I...I’m pregnant,’’ she blurted.</p>
<p>Instantly, Carina pulled her hand away from Maya’s, eye brows shooting up in surprise. ‘’What?’’ she asked a little louder than she realised.</p>
<p>‘’Please don’t make me say it again,’’ Maya spoke, barely loud enough to be heard. They both fell silent. The room filling with tension quicker than the smoke of a grease fire. Maya kind of wishes she was dealing with a fire right now. Fighting a fire is easier and less stressful.</p>
<p>Maya moved her hand a few inches, brushing it against Carina’s. ‘’Don’t touch me.’’ Carina spat out, voice an octave higher than usual. She stood up from her position on the floor, pacing as she took in the information she was just given. ‘’Is it Jacks?’’</p>
<p>Maya could only nod, glancing down at her hands, unable to look the doctor in the eyes.</p>
<p>‘’I have to go.’’ Carina said quietly before turning on her heel, picking her handbag up and exiting the bedroom.</p>
<p>The sound of the front door slamming was all it took for Maya to burst into sobs, laying down on her bed in a fetal position with her face pressed into the duvet.</p>
<p>				**//**</p>
<p>Days went by with Maya not going into work. Andy had called by her apartment twice already. She had comforted her friend as she cried. Had forced her to go shower and brought her food which demanded she ate. They were sat at the kitchen table, Maya pushing food around her plate when Andy eventually brought up the subject of Carina.</p>
<p>‘’Have you spoken to her?’’ she asked tentatively, not wanting to upset Maya again.</p>
<p>The blonde dropped her fork onto the plate and pushed it aside. She looked down at her fingers, picking at a hangnail down the edge of her right middle finger. ‘’No, she wont answer my calls.’’</p>
<p>‘’Maybe she just needs to cool off.’’ Andy offered.</p>
<p>Maya rolled her eyes. ‘’Or maybe I just fucked up so much that she never wants to talk to me again.’’</p>
<p>Andy really couldn’t say anything to that. </p>
<p>			**//**</p>
<p>Telling Jack she was pregnant went slightly better than she anticipated. The first thing out of his mouth was questioning if she was keeping it. Honestly, she didn’t really know yet. She had never wanted to have children. Never thought of herself as maternal. But there was also this little voice in the back of her head that told her that those thoughts were simply insecurities caused by her childhood trauma. A big part of her therapy was going back over those traumas and realising that she hadn’t been the cause of them.</p>
<p>Weeks went by with Maya still attempting to get a hold of Carina. Eventually she figured the doctor had blocked her number when the phone calls failed to even connect. She felt angry and hurt, even if she knew she didn’t deserve to. With a head full of rage, she stepped into her running shoes and jogged the seven blocks to the hospital. She didn’t even know if Carina was working today, but she wanted to see her. </p>
<p>Perhaps she ran a bit faster than her body wanted her to, because the minute she stopped, she vomited in the nearest bush. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve and straightened herself up before walking up to the automatic doors of Grey Sloan.</p>
<p>Before she entered, she heard her names called from behind her. Recognising the voice before she even turned around. ‘’What are you doing here Maya? Is everything okay?’’ Carina asked, looking down in the area of Maya’s abdomen.</p>
<p>‘’I...Yeah. Umm, you blocked my calls.’’</p>
<p> ‘’So you just showed up at my place of work?’’</p>
<p>‘’Well, yeah. I just...I needed...I…’’</p>
<p>‘’I can’t do this right now,’’ Carina said sternly as she went to walk past Maya into the hospital.</p>
<p>Maya grabbed a hold of her wrist gently as she walked past her. ‘’Carina please? I’ll get an abortion. If you want me to?’’</p>
<p>Shock overtook the doctors features, eye brows knit together and mouth gaping open slightly. She looked from her wrist that was trapped, up into Maya’s pleading eyes. ‘’What? Maya what is wrong with you?’’</p>
<p>‘’Please forgive me.’’</p>
<p>‘’I already forgave you for cheating on me with your ex-boyfriend.’’ Carina explained, receiving a small smile from the blonde. ‘’But, this..’’ she pointed at Maya’s stomach, ‘’this, I am not part of. I thought you’d have at least have had the decency to have used protection when you slept with him Maya.’’</p>
<p>Letting go of Carina’s wrist, the blonde took a step back, bowing her head as tears pricked at her eyes and trickled down her cheek. Watching Carina walk away from her was the true indicator that they were well and truly over. </p>
<p>That evening, curled up in bed, Maya made the decision that she was keeping her baby. Selfishly, she just wanted somebody to love that would always love her back, as long as she didn’t act like her father. She placed her hand over her still relatively flat but mildly bloated stomach and made a mountain of promises to her baby. </p>
<p>			**//**</p>
<p>To say it took her team by surprise was an understatement. She demanded she not be treated differently, but to understand that she would no longer be going into any fires. As captain, it made it easier to stay safe. Usually, she was the one outside giving orders. </p>
<p>Jack had ended up moving stations when he was promoted to captain at station 23, but stuck to his word, turning up to all the appointments and scans and doing his best to support Maya, even after she offered him an easy out. Deep down, she knew he wouldn’t take her up on the offer. He was a foster kid and she knew how important family was to Jack. </p>
<p>Into month seven of her pregnancy, Maya had been put on admin duties only. She hated it, but even though her bump was really quite small and tidy for almost full term, she no longer fit into any of the turnouts and her ankles were a little swollen, meaning the boots were extremely uncomfortable.</p>
<p>One night into her eighth month, Maya had visited the station. Whilst the team were out on a call, Maya simply hung out, hating to be at home on her own. She put a couple of loads of washing on, folding the dried items and cleaned down the kitchen. </p>
<p>She slowly dropped down onto the couch in the tv room. She’d been uncomfortable for the past hour, assuming the baby was on a nerve or something. It wasn’t until after the pain had subsided that Maya wondered if maybe it was a contraction. She sat up and grabbed her phone, calmly going onto the timer app and pressing start. If they were contractions rather than braxton hicks, then they would have a pattern to them. </p>
<p>She leaned back against the back of the couch, waiting to see what happened. She felt weirdly calm. Maya was so ready for this baby to be born. She was fed up of having to pee all the time, and cravings and not being able to go for a run.</p>
<p>			**//**</p>
<p>About two hours later, the crew of 19 came bounding back into the station, buzzing from call they had just been on. Fire out in record time and no deaths. It always put a spring in each and every one of their steps. </p>
<p>Vic and Andy called dibs on first showers, grabbing their belongings from their lockers and rushing to the showers before any of the guys got there. As Vic chatted away, Andy opened the shower room door, only to be greeted with a grunt and a moan and the sound of the shower running. ‘’Maya, is that you?’’</p>
<p>‘’Uh, yeah.’’ The blonde replied after a few seconds, waiting for the contraction to end. </p>
<p>‘’Is everything okay?’’ she asked, looking towards Vic with a confused look on her face.</p>
<p>Maya attempted to pull the shower curtain open behind her, silently giving her friends permission to open it fully. She was still clad in leggings and a sports bra, her palms pressing into the wall of the shower, bent over slightly with her hips swaying from side to side.</p>
<p>Maya let out another low groan. ‘’Oh my god, why does it hurt so much?’’</p>
<p>‘’Well a baby is about to fly out of your vagina.’’ Vic laughed, before being cut off by the glare Maya shot her over her shoulder.</p>
<p>‘’Have your waters broke?’’ Andy asked, hesitantly walking up behind Maya to help support her.</p>
<p>‘’Yep. All the information is written down on the piece of paper over there.’’</p>
<p>‘’Of course it is miss control freak.’’ Vic whispered as she walked over to grab the paper, looking down at it, noticing every contraction was written down with a time and length written next to it, and the time her waters broke. She passed the paper over to Andy, who glanced at it quickly. </p>
<p>‘’Okay, lets get you in dry clothes and straight to grey sloan.’’</p>
<p>Once her car was parked, Andy rushed Maya up to the maternity floor of Grey Sloan memorial hospital. She was taken straight through to delivery. Maya just about managed to slide herself on to the bed, where she collapsed backwards. Her whole body felt like it was vibrating with nerves. She wasn’t ready for this. However much she had tried to prepare herself for this event, nothing about her felt like she was ready. </p>
<p>Her nerves only increased when she was told that her midwife wouldn’t be able to make it as she had another delivery taking place that took priority.</p>
<p>Another contraction hit as the OBGYN on call walked into the room. ‘’Are we ready to have a…’’ Carina stopped in her tracks just three steps into the room as she looked towards the expectant mother labouring. ‘’Maya.’’</p>
<p>She immediately let out a low groan as the pain seared through her, her hand immediately grabbing onto the rather neat bump. ‘’Fuuuuuuuuuck,’’ she virtually growled, unsure if it all stemmed from the contraction or the fact that her ex-girlfriend, that she hadn’t seen in almost seven month, was now in the same room.</p>
<p>Maya looked over to Andy who just shrugged at her, not knowing what to say. ‘’You need to get me someone else.’’</p>
<p>Carina snapped into professional mode instantly. ‘’I’m afraid I am the only one free. Seems it’s a popular night to go into labour.’’ She took a hold of Maya’s notes, asking the nurse with her to check blood pressure and to set up the doppler so they could check on baby’s heart rate. ‘’I’m going to need you to remove your pants and underwear so that I can examine you to see how far dilated you are.’’</p>
<p>‘’What? No, you can’t look up my hooha.’’ Maya said in a much higher voice than her norm. Carina raised an eyebrow as she looked over at Maya, who immediately realised just how childish she sounded. ‘’Fine.’’</p>
<p>‘’Do you want me to leave?’’</p>
<p>‘’No, you can’t leave me alone with….’’ Maya whispered, tipping her head slightly towards Carina. </p>
<p>Another contraction hit Maya as she removed her pants. They weren’t even her pants, they were a pair of trackies that Ben had in his locker, the only spare pair that even remotely fit over Maya’s bump. </p>
<p>She would be lying if she said she didn’t feel completely and utterly awkward as Dr. Deluca examined her. She squeezed her eye lids shut so tightly that she started seeing neon shapes behind her eyes. She couldn’t relax, even after she was told to, not even with Andy by her side, holding her hand.</p>
<p>‘’Okay, you’re fully dilated, time to have this baby.’’ Carina said, removing her gloves and placing Maya’s gown back down lower on her thigh. </p>
<p>Maya’s eyes went wide. She takes back all the times she thought or said that she was ready to meet her baby because right now she doesn’t feel ready at all. </p>
<p>			**//**</p>
<p>Maya had been pushing for the past hour. Her body felt weak. ‘’I need drugs,’’ she blurted out after a particularly difficult contraction. She was sweaty and her hair was sticking to her forehead. Everytime Andy tried to wipe the sweat away, Maya swatted at her arm.</p>
<p>‘’You’ve got the gas and air right there Maya.’’</p>
<p>‘’No, I want an epidural. My doctor said I could. She said if the pain was too much I could have the epidural. The pains to much. Please….please Carina,’’ she begged.</p>
<p>‘’I’m sorry Bel...Maya. It’s too late for an epidural.’’</p>
<p>‘’Them in not doing it. I can’t do it. I’m not ready,’’ Maya cried. Tears were streaming down her face as she grunted through a contraction that she should be pushing with. Andy was trying her hardest to stay positive for Maya, trying to hype her up to get through the last few contractions before she meets her baby, unfortunately the blonde was refusing to listen and just seemed to be getting more agitated. </p>
<p>‘’Okay, lets just take a minute. Andy, go out into the hall and try to call Jack again.’’ Carina shot Andy a look that she hoped she understood. </p>
<p>Clearly she did because she was out the door with her phone in her hand within seconds.</p>
<p>‘’Maya, look at me.’’ She paused waiting for Maya to make eye contact. ‘’You are the strongest person I know. You just have to put everything into the next few pushes and then you get to meet your baby. You wont remember any of this pain because you will be so madly and deeply in love with this tiny human being.’’</p>
<p>‘’Like I love you?’’ Maya asked, a tear running down her cheek.</p>
<p>‘’More.’’</p>
<p>Andy rushed back into the room looking flustered. ‘’There’s a 4 alarm fire. Jack’s crew are on scene  so that’s probably why he hasn’t pick up the calls.’’</p>
<p>Maya simply nodded in understanding just as a contraction took over. She pushed with all her might, falling back onto the bed. ‘’This is so uncomfortable on my back,’’ she cried out.</p>
<p>‘’Okay get on all four, but we have to move you quickly before the next contraction.’’ Carina explained before helping Maya to change positions. ‘’That better?’’</p>
<p>Before she could answer, the next contraction hit her. She found the new position to be less strain on her back and she felt it easier to push. She let out a scream at the burning sensation between her legs. </p>
<p>‘’Okay, that’s the head out. One more big push Maya. One more and your baby will be out I promise.’’</p>
<p>She barely had time to think about before she was once again pushing before her body fell slightly limp and the pressure suddenly completely gone. Maya managed to find the strength to lift her upper body completely just as Carina manoeuvred the baby between her legs so that Maya could look down at her newborn. </p>
<p>‘’Congratulations, it’s a girl.’’</p>
<p>Maya let out a sob, reaching town to gently stroke across her daughters cheek. She was the most beautiful baby Maya had ever laid eyes. She had a head full of fuzzy fair hair, even though her face was a little squished from delivery, she had the cutest button nose. Her tiny hands were balled into fists and Maya let out an airy chuckle at how angry the baby looked.</p>
<p>Maya had asked Andy to cut cord and to go be with the baby whilst she had her checks and Maya delivered the placenta. </p>
<p>			**//**</p>
<p>Hours later, Andy had gone home to freshen up and sleep whilst Maya rested at the hospital. As Maya’s eyes drifted open slowly, she smiled to herself as she caught a glimpse to her right. Carina sat in the arm chair, cradling her baby girl, rocking her gently. Suddenly she was hit with a new round of emotions as thoughts of the future she could have had with Carina swirled around her mind. They’d never really talked about starting a family when they were together, but seeing what the possibility could look like, it caused tears to swell in her eyes and fall down her cheeks.</p>
<p>Noticing Maya was now awake, staring at her with tears in her eyes, Carina panicked slightly. ‘’I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be in here. I...I’ll put her back in the bassinet.’’</p>
<p>‘’No, wait. It’s not that.’’ Maya said, looking down as she fiddled with the strap of the hospital band around her wrist. ‘’I meant what I said earlier.’’</p>
<p>‘’That you didn’t want me to look up your hooha?’’ Carina joked, attempting to make the awkward atmosphere diseappear.</p>
<p>‘’That I love you.’’</p>
<p>Carina sighed. ‘’Maya you were in labour. Your hormones were and are all over the place. You didn’t mean it.’’</p>
<p>‘’I did. I never stopped loving you. I know I messed up so badly and I know you don’t love me back but…’’ Maya didn’t get to finish her sentence before the door was flying open and Jack was all but running into the room.</p>
<p>‘’I’m sorry. The fire...’’ </p>
<p>Carina stood up from the chair, carrying the baby over and placing her in Jack’s arms. There was a look of confusion on the man’s face. He had met Maya’s doctor, and Carina definitely wasn’t her. He kept quiet though as he looked down at his daughter. ‘’Wow,’’ he whispered.</p>
<p>Jack spent an hour or so with his daughter, signing paperwork and finally choosing a name they both liked before he was called out to another fire. Being captain meant he had no choice but to leave, promising that he was at the end of the phone if Maya needed him. </p>
<p>Shortly after Jack let, Carina tapped on the door, waiting for an answer as to whether she could enter or not. She peaked her head round when she heard Maya call out. Maya was sat up in the hospital bed, gown pulled off of one arm with her daughter breast feeding. ‘’Oh, I can come back later.’’</p>
<p>Maya chuckled airily. ‘’No it’s fine Carina.’’</p>
<p>‘’I, uh, I just came by to drop this off.’’ In the doctors hand was tiny blue long eared bunny. ‘’For the baby, obviously.’’ She laughed at herself for sounding so silly.</p>
<p>‘’I miss that laugh.’’ Maya hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but before she could apologise, Carina interrupted. </p>
<p>‘’I miss you,’’ she said softly. ‘’I don’t think I realised how much until today. I was so angry for so long, that I think I latched on to that feeling in order to keep myself safe.’’ </p>
<p>‘’Safe from what? Me?’’ Maya asked shyly.</p>
<p>‘’From the heart ache I would feel when you inevitable chose Jack over me for the sake of your baby,’’ Carina admitted.</p>
<p>‘’Car, come sit.’’ Maya said as she tapped her free hand on the space next to her on the bed. When Carina perched down, Maya took her hand in her own free hand and held it gently, rubbing her thumb in a circle over the brunettes knuckled. ‘’I know I cheated on you with him, but I would never choose him over you. I may have had his baby, but you’ve always had my heart.’’</p>
<p>Carina was lost for words. Which was a first for the Italian. She simply nodded in acknowledgment. They sat there in silence for a little while, Maya finishing feeding the baby, then patting her back to bring up any wind. She thought she’d be clueless at first, but mothers instinct really had kicked in and it was like she had been doing this for years, not just hours. </p>
<p>‘’Am I too late?’’ Carina asked quietly as she watch Maya, in complete awe of the women in front of her.</p>
<p>‘’For what?’’</p>
<p>‘’To admit that I never stopped loving you either.’’ Carina said nervously.</p>
<p>‘’I would have waited a lifetime to hear you say that.’’ Maya gently shifted herself over in the bed, careful not to jostle the sleeping baby on her chest. She patted the spot right next to her, inviting Carina to join her on the bed. The doctor slowly moved into the spot as careful as she possibly could. Her body seemed to automatically relax as she breathed in the familiar scent of Maya’s wild berry shampoo and condition.</p>
<p>‘’Have you named this little beauty yet?’’ Carina asked as she rested her own hand on top of Maya’s that was laying on her daughters back.</p>
<p>‘’I’d like to formally introduce you to…..’’ the blonde paused for effect, ‘’Eden Bella Bishop.’’</p>
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